*** 愚笨的妻子才會宰制丈夫 ***
有些婦女很會宰制丈夫，說穿了就是愚笨。婚姻應該是(如你們所說的)蜜月(honeymoon)，甜蜜(honey)應是婚姻的核心本質，而moon代表的是安祥與和諧(peace)。假如妻子是愛爭吵、愛爭鬥、喜歡冷言冷語諷刺 ，這種婚姻對男人而言就如同地獄一般。相反來說，假如妻子了解婚姻的核心本質是甜蜜，她應該知道如何去讓她的丈夫高興，知道如何將祥和帶到家庭裡。
如何去取悅丈夫呢？對自覺的靈而言，這只需要一點小技巧。首先要去發掘妳的丈夫喜歡什麼，以我為例，我的先生(婚後)告訴我："你頭髮上不應當插花，我不喜歡女人在頭上插花"，雖然在這個Maharashtra地區所有已婚的婦女都在頭上插花，但是從他講的那一天開始，我從未在頭上插花，這有什麼關係呢，插不插花一點都不重要。然後他又說："你應該掛手環"，因為他來自一個非常傳統的家庭，(婦女都穿戴許多手環)，從此之後我都一直戴著手環。戴手環會讓他高興那就戴手環，這有什麼關係呢？ 當你在小事上取悅丈夫，他就會開始想我應當為我太太做什麼，所以這種良性循環應該從妻子開始，而不是等妳的丈夫來開始，因為婦女的責任就是在社會(及在家庭 )，但西方文化並沒有告訴人你的責任是什麼。男人的責任是在經濟、政治、賺錢等，雖然他們將這些都弄得一蹋糊塗，但女人的工作與責任是在社會，所以首先你必須知道如何讓小孩子高興、讓丈夫高興、如何幫助他們、接近他們。假如妳不是這樣做，而是隨時去掌控宰制，那就不對了，因為妳的工作不是去掌控，妳的工作是要去中和男人的掌控，用小小的技巧去中和他。
我舉一個我的例子，我的丈夫辦公室有一位優秀的下屬跳槽到其他公司，他為了高薪而跳槽，之後他發覺那個公司不好，他又想回來，我的丈夫有他堅持的原則，他拒絕了這位下屬，將他趕走。那位下屬就來找我、拜託我，我從來不干預我丈夫辦公室的事務。他拜託我說："假如妳代我求情，妳丈夫可能會聽進去"，我答道："假如我告訴他，他一定不會答應，但我知道如何做"。之後我告訴我丈夫那位下屬來拜訪過，他說："哈哈！他找對人了！那麼妳現在要開始給我麻煩了嗎？"，我說："不！不！我不會去管你的事，但是你只需要想一下他為什麼來找我？"，"為什麼？"，"因為他認為我比你寬容大方"，"什麼！！"。結果那位下屬就回到我丈夫的辦公室工作了。(後來)那位下屬是我丈夫的好朋友，也幫他很多。
所以當妳認為妳必須影響妳先生時，最好是用一些好的技巧。只有在一些重要的原則上，妳才可以嚴肅強硬，但在一些小事上，若妳也要宰制妳先生，那就完全錯了！妳的結婚是為了展示妳的愚笨，還是要享受甜蜜與和諧呢？西方世界的婦女，尤其是義大利、英國，是帶給我們的配婚很大的困擾，我已將她們排斥在配婚之外，因為我對她們無能為力。
男人並不期望妻子是揮著馬鞭，騎在他頭上來指揮他。男人為什麼要結婚呢？是為了享受來自女人的快樂、喜悦及甜蜜！我為什麼要特別談這個話題呢？因為現在有許多女人認為她們很了不起，她們有錢、有工作。但她們的首要工作應該是讓社會家庭快樂、讓丈夫快樂。假如一個妻子無法讓她的丈夫快樂，那麼她不是一個好的霎哈嘉練習者，她對我們沒有任何好處。假如她無法為她的丈夫設想，那麼她就不應該結婚。她可以不結婚，而去做她喜歡的事。我當然也看了那些電影，那些羅曼蒂克的電影，那些情節從未在現實發生，沒有人會像那樣子，那些都是荒謬(不存在)的，難道你要期待妳的丈夫是克拉克蓋博(Clark
Gable，譯者：美國知名影星)，婚姻不是那樣子。妳必須去愛，妳首先必須將妳的丈夫放入妳的心，這是妳的職責，不然妳的責任是什麼？
男人是很簡單的，但妳必須去了解他們。他們有時候會生氣，這沒有什麼大不了。事實上有時他們對外面的人不滿，回家將怒氣發到妳身上而已，但這至少比在外生氣而挨他人揍來得好。假如妳了解男人的一些點，那就很容易駕輕就熟、遊刃有餘。當然我不是說那種很卑劣、令人難以忍受的丈夫，所以在霎哈嘉我們是容許離婚的。
我的左臍輪一直給我痛苦，因為集體的左臍輪不是很好，這是因為有不少女練習者不是很好的家庭主婦。
註一：這個話題是Shri
Mataji常講到的，Shri Mataji基本上認為妻子是先生的力量(Shakti)，也是維持一個家庭的核心力量，唯有有母愛呵護、管教的小孩才能成為正常、有道德的好公民，這是男人做不到的，因為男人天生沒有這些特質。這也是婦女的天職與神聖的使命，若女人放棄此責任，只忙和男人爭平等、比高下，整個社會將會衰敗。請也參閱另一譯文：明辨力與臍輪(Nabhi
Chakra)(之三)( http://sahajataiwan.blogspot.com/2017/02/nabhi-chakra-gruha-lakshmi-alertness.html )
註二：江瑞凱摘譯自Shri
Mataji 的談話1997-10-04。JSM ! 敬請霎哈嘉兄弟姊妹們指正。
I wanted to talk to people who are married in Sahaja Yoga,
especially to the ladies.
I think some of them are extremely dominating and stupid. What
is marriage? Marriage is honeymoon as they call it.
Honey is the essence and moon is the peace.
Now if the women are quarrelsome, fighting, sarcastic, it is
absolutely a hell for man.
Instead of that, if woman knows the essence, the honey, she
should know how to please the husband, to bring peace in the family. Now some
of the husbands are drunkards or anything – not in Sahaja Yoga. What pleases
the husband? You see, in a way, it’s a trick. It’s a trick of a realized soul,
how to please others. What do we do to our husbands?
Do we try to please? First of all find out what he likes. My
husband, I would say – he’s gone away, thank God – he used to say, “You
shouldn’t wear any flower in your head.” But in Maharashtra all the married
women are supposed to wear flowers.
Since that day I have never worn any flower in My head. It’s all
right, doesn’t matter, he didn’t know what I was, so he said, “Don’t wear any
flowers, I don’t like”
Then he said, “You must wear bangles” because he comes from a
very traditional family. All My life I have worn bangles. It pleases him,
what’s the matter?
Little, little things you do just to please him, then he also
starts thinking, “See, what should I do for My wife?”. But first it must start
from woman, not from man, because women are responsible for the society.
In the western culture they had not told what is their job is.
Man’s job is economics, politics, money earning. They have made
a mess out of it, I agree with you (Laughter). It’s quite a big mess (Shri
Mataji laughs). But your job is to make the society. And to make the society,
first you must know how to keep children pleased, how to keep your husband
pleased, how to help and be close to them (Unclear).
On the contrary, if you try all the time to dominate, that’s not
your job to dominate at all. Your job is to make neutralize his domination by
simple, simple things.
I’ll give you an example. Thank God he is not here! (Laughter,
Shri Mataji laughs)
He knows, he knows I’m very, I am very clever in certain things.
In his office he had a gentleman. I never used to interfere with his office.
But there was one gentleman, good one, who gave up his organization and joined
another one because it was a private one, he was getting more money, so he
joined that. But there he found it was horrible, so he wanted to come back to
Shipping Corporation. But My husband is very particular about rules and
regulations. He said, “No, no, no, now I won’t have you, I don’t want to see
your face, get out”, this thing, that (thing).
So he came to Me. Normally, I never interfere. He came to Me and
he said, “If You tell him he might listen.” I said, “No, if I tell him he will
never listen. But I know how to do it.”
(Laughter)
So I told him that this gentleman came to see Me. “Ha, so he’s
come to the right person, now are you going to trouble me about it?”
I said, “No, no, no, not Me, but just think why he came to Me.”
He said, “Why?” “Because he thinks I’m more generous than you
are.” Immediately this competition. (Laughter, Shri Mataji laughs) And that
fellow got the job, he was a great friend of his, even in London he was helping
him a lot.
So, when we think that we have to control our husband, it’s
better to do it in a very simple way. Only on fundamentals you can put down
your foot. Otherwise for small, small things, if you go on dominating your
husband I tell you, you will miss the point. You have married for stupidity or
for honeymoon?
And in the West, especially in Italy, we have had very bad
experiences of women.
English also, I must say. English girls also have given Me lot
of trouble.
I mean, they are banned now, because I can’t help it.
..........
Man doesn’t want a wife to be on the horse and beating with a
whip. Why has he married? For the happiness, for the joy, for the sweetness of
a woman. It’s a very important thing I wanted to talk because so many of women
are thinking that they are something great. Some of them have some money, some
of them have some jobs, but first job is to keep the society very happy and to
keep your husband happy – is the first job. If a woman cannot keep the husband
happy, she is no good for us.
She is no good Sahaja Yogini.
............
In the same way a woman has to think about the husband, in a
very kindly manner, because this is her job, this is why she is marrying.
Otherwise she should not marry, she can do what she likes. .........
I’ve seen also in the films, you see all romantic scenes going
on – it never happens, there’s nobody is like that, you see, it’s all absurd
things you see, so you expect them to be Clark Gable or somebody, it’s not so.
(Laughter)
You have to love, you have to take your husband into your heart
first. This is your duty, otherwise what else are you doing? .........
I tell you, men are very simple, but you have to understand.
Sometimes they get angry, doesn’t matter. Actually, if they are angry with somebody
else, they will come and put it on you. It’s better, because if they do
anything to others, they’ll beat them. You are not going to beat (them).
If you understand few things about men, it can work out. Of
course, some are very miserable husbands, I know, and some miserable wives –
for them we have divorce allowed in our Sahaja Yoga, we have divorce for them.
So that is the thing I wanted to tell you, that you should make
a very good housewife, a very good Gruha Laxmi.
Now, why I am telling you this, that I am suffering from Gruha
Laxmi’s chakra, and all the doctors have told Me it is because in the
collective Gruha Laxmis are not all right, because they are not good
housewives.
