順服(下)------放下自我

*** 順服(下)------放下自我 ***

在制約的另一邊則是"自我"(ego)，自我是人類(發展出來)很幽微的東西，人類累積了一個自我，其中有一些人甚至有一個很容易受騙的自我，只要一件很微小的事就足以讓他的自我爆炸。他們會因很小的事而大發脾氣，或找到一個可以宰制的人，他們也會去控制那個人。假如你開始可以看到自己有這種自我，你會開始嘲笑自己，心中想我是出了什麼問題，(怎麼會有這種自我？)

自我是不同於制約，制約是來自外界，而自我是來自内裏。人類可以因各式各樣的荒謬事物而產生出自我。有一次我碰到一位女士，她有一種非常高傲的態度，甚至都没有笑容，我說："她倒底是怎麼樣了？她是誰呢？"，他們告訴我："她會做洋娃娃，這就是為什麼她十分自傲"，"什麼？因為會做洋娃娃，所以十分驕傲？每一個人都會做洋娃娃，這有什麼偉大之處呢？"，"但是她認為她非常了不起，因為她會做洋娃娃！"。

當人變得十分愚笨時，就表示他的自我很大，這可以說是自我大的人的第一個標記。這種人會笨到令人十分驚訝，好似一個丑角在你面前免費演出，演出各式各樣的丑劇。他會在你面前炫耀說："我做這個，我是......，我......，我......，我......"，他會毫無羞恥地說那些不應該說的話。然後他們甚至更進一步跨入罪惡的生活型態，他們喜歡女人、喜歡喝酒，喜歡做這個、做那個，然後開始誇耀："我那天喝了多少酒.....，有五個女人圍在我身邊......"。對一個自我很大的人而言，完全没有羞恥心這一回事，他會不斷地說他的荒誕事跡。

這些自我很大的人更會為自己的行為辯護，有一次我對一位男士說："你有過心肌梗塞，為什麼你現在還喝酒呢？為什麼你不戒酒？"，他說："那位叫 Kirloskar 的老人已九十幾歲，他也(天天)喝酒"，我說："你不是他，而且縱使他喝酒，他也沒有從酒獲得什麼益處"，"不，不，你看他如此棒，因為他喝酒，而且他如此成功"，"難道他是因為喝酒而成功嗎？"，你看，他們連普通的推理判斷力都没有！

在現代，這個自我又更進一步擴展，人們開始說："我喜歡這個，我不喜歡那個"，"什麼？你不喜歡什麼？"，"我不喜歡這種莎麗，我不喜歡這種衣服，我不喜歡這個"，但是你有没有想過：你是誰？並不是你來看你的衣服，你的衣服是給別人看的，所以你喜不喜歡並不重要！現代的年輕人開口閉口即是："我喜歡"，這是完全毀滅的一個訊号，因為自我不只讓你變笨，自我更會帶你走向："只要我喜歡，有什麼不可以"，所以我們可以發現那些人(譯者：指如龐克族等)穿着十分奇怪，他們變得非常非常愚笨！所有這些愚笨的行為都是因為這個自我在做祟。只有得到自覺之後，人們才會看到：這是我的"自我"在講話、在搞怪，(這不是我！)之後，他們會開始嘲笑自己、開自己的玩笑，說：這是我的自我！

當我們談到昇進時，我們是在談一個更高層的生命。我們必須變成一個修行者(sanyasi)，就像蓮花從池塘中冒出，但是没有任何水滴附着在其上，甚至蓮花的葉子上也没有任何水滴，我們必須就像這樣子。當然我們不必去穿修行人的衣服，而是要從内裏發展出一種抽離、無執(detached)的注意力，藉著這種注意力，我們可以立即看清楚自己内内外外的問題。..........要獲致這個，我們必須從内裏變成濕婆神(Shiva)，即變成無執與抽離。濕婆神是完全的無執與抽離，你也必須如此。而且這種無執與抽離將帶給你和濕婆神相同的智慧。至高濕婆神(Sadashiva)只是靜觀太初之母(Adi Shakti)的工作，祂從未有任何的驕傲，祂也不會發展出任何自我。

順服並不是放棄任何外在的東西，而是完全清潔你自己，變成完全的無執與抽離，這種無執與抽離是帶給你昇進的唯一方法。

註一： 江瑞凱摘譯自Shri Mataji在Mahashivaratri Puja的談話1994-03-14. JSM ! 敬請霎哈嘉兄弟姊妹們指正.

Now the other side of it is the ego part. Ego is very subtle stuff with human beings. I don’t know how they gather it, but they do and some of them have such a gullible ego that with the slightest thing it shoots off. And they get very angry for small things or if they find somebody whom they can dominate, they can dominate also that person. Now this ego when you start seeing it, you just start laughing at yourself and think that, what’s wrong with me.

Ego is not like conditioning which is coming from outside but ego is something that comes from within. It can come from anything. Human beings have ego of all kinds of nonsensical things. One day I met one lady and she was very proud and was not even smiling. I said, “What’s the matter with this lady, what is she?” So they told Me, “She knows how to make dolls that’s why she’s so proud.” I said, “Eh, to make dolls, she’s so proud!” “Yes, you know, she can make dolls, so she’s so proud.” I said, “What is there, anybody can make dolls, so what is so great?” “No, but she thinks she is very great because she makes dolls.”

So a man becomes stupid and stupid. That is first sign of a egoistical person. He is so stupid that when you are talking to him, you just get flabbergasted that without paying anything you have got a buffoon before you who is showing all joke, jokes of his buffoonery. Is, eh, something very surprising, I mean, you meet any egoistical person and you just watch him: “I did this, I am, I, I, I …”

Then you start seeing the person, what’s the matter, he’s not even ashamed to say things that should not be said. Then it goes even to the sinful life they lead. They lead a very sinful life, they fond of women, they drink and this and that. Then they start boasting about that also: “I drank that day so much; I had five women around me.” They start boasting of that also. So, for a egoistical man there is nothing like shame. He’ll go on telling about his nonsensical things and everybody will say ‘My God with whom are we talking?’

And then, whatever they do they justify. I asked one fellow, “You had such a bad heart attack why do you drink now, give up drinking.” He said, “But even this person Kirloskar” – we have one in Poona who is now, I think, 95 – “he drinks”. So I said, “You are not Kirloskar, and even if he drinks, what’s the use, what is he gaining by that?” “No, no, you see he’s very good, because, see, he drinks and he’s so successful.” “Is he successful without, because of drinking?”

But even ordinary reasoning is not there, ordinary reasoning. ........

Now this ego is spreading very much in modern times where they start saying, “I like this, I don’t like this”. “What, what you don’t like?” “I don’t like this kind of a sari, I don’t like this kind of clothes, I don’t like this.” But who are you, you are not going to see yourself, others are going to see. So what difference does it make whether you like it or not? But is very common with young people, to talk like that “I like.” And this is a sign of complete destruction.

Because ego is not only, is, makes you stupid, you see all these days the way people dress up and we find they are very stupid because “I like it, so what?” Anything they like it, you know, if they want to walk on their heads “I like it, what’s wrong?” All kinds of stupidity can be explained through ego. So those who get Realization somehow or other, thank God, see it: This is my ego talking. Then they start laughing at themselves, making fun of themselves: This was my ego. ......

So when we talk of ascent, we talk of a higher life. We have to become sanyasi like the lotus that comes out of the pond and no water can stay on them. Even the leaves of lotus, no water can stay on them. Just like that we have to become. We don’t have to wear Sanyasis dresses, nothing of that. But from inside, a kind of a detached attention is there which immediately locates the problem, within you and without.

And also in Sahaja Yoga, you know how to overcome that. It’s a very effective, efficient system. But for that again, to achieve that you have to become Shiva within, means detached. As Shiva is completely detached, you have to be detached. And that detachment will give you the same wisdom as Shiva has. Shiva sees, we should say, Sadashiva sees the work of Adi Shakti, silently. He doesn’t get proud, he doesn’t develop a kind of a ego .........

So this is his, the quality one has to understand, surrendering doesn’t mean outside things to be surrendered. What is there, these are all stones, what are you surrendering? Surrendering means cleansing yourself completely, getting completely detached. Detachment is the only way you can rise.